If you're a dick, I will rip you off. Figuratively of course...

Hi. The first post had a lot better feedback than I expected, and a lot more views than I thought it would as well. I guess that means I should probably keep this going huh? Expect 1-2 updates per week. Follow the blog for notifications, otherwise just check my Facebook or Twitter to see what's up.

It was about 9AM on a Monday morning and I had been awake for about 90 minutes. I hadn't had my dose of caffeine yet and was in no mood to deal with anyone, let alone some middle-aged jackass wearing a suit he obviously got on clearance at Marshalls. The guy clearly had a superiority complex, probably because he's got his PhD online from some shit hole like the University of Phoenix.

This particular gentleman apparently did not realize that the combination of it being 9AM, being in a retail store, and my overall lack of motivation to deal with anyone was not a good mix. He obviously starts things off the right way by yelling across the store pointing at me and calling me over to him as if I were a dog. If you've worked with me before, or have experienced this first hand, you know that this is a big no-no. Reluctantly, I head over to him to see what Mr. clearance suit wants. "Dictation equipment." Are you fucking serious. It's a voice recorder you pompous douche. Don't talk like you're a walking thesaurus at 9AM expecting anyone to take you seriously.

Well, since I was already pissed that he did the dog call to me and was strutting around with his holier-than-thou attitude, I decided to mess with him. I played dumb for a few good minutes, pretending I didn't understand what he was asking for. He spouted off a few more nonsensical words trying to firmly show that he was my superior. Eventually I had enough of his act and brought him to his precious "dictation equipment". He begins to look at them and I start running my mouth for a change. Clearly I catch him off guard when I start speaking above his level of comprehension and I notice a look of confusion on his face. It's a glorious sight. I talk him in to the most expensive one, shove some accessories in his hands and then begin to discuss theoretical return on investment for the purchase of a service plan (which is a total ripoff) that he will be purchasing. I direct the conversation in a way that allows him to walk away thinking that he made a smart choice and that everything was his idea, when in reality I had complete control from the very beginning. He walked away spending $250 on a shitty voice recorder, a case, and a warranty. If he wasn't a dick he would have got everything he wanted and got away for $100.

Summary:

1. Don't be an asshole to someone that you need help from. (yay life lessons?)

2. If you don't walk around with a superiority complex you might not get ripped off. Then you can buy a suit that doesn't look like it was made in a sweatshop and then stored in your attic for 20 years.

3. I really can be a jackass, regardless of how early in the morning it is.

I learned in my marketing classes that reinforcing messages is good. Therefore, I will say again that you should probably follow me on Twitter. twitter.com/jessegodek Sometimes I post exciting things, usually not though. I'm boring. I'm gonna go make some Eggo's and watch Fringe now.